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How to Help Your Divorce Lawyer to Help You

A divorce can be a difficult time for everybody involved. It represents the end of a relationship that you gave your all to. It also means the beginning of significant changes in your life, some of which can be made more complex by legal hurdles and financial arrangements. Which is why retaining an expert divorce and family law attorney is essential.

Your attorney will help to guide you through the process, but that doesn’t mean that you have no part in it. We’re going to take a look at a handful of key areas you can contribute to the success of your case by making your attorney’s job a little simpler.

1.   Do Your Research

It’s important for both you and your attorney that you find a lawyer that suits your circumstances and has the right niche expertise for any unique aspects. This begins by checking out their professional credentials. Most attorneys will have details of their schooling, bar membership, and experience on their websites. You should also check out their memberships of any professional associations, as this is a good indicator as to where their specialties lie.

It can also be helpful to assess whether you’re likely to mesh with your attorney’s personality and approach. A good example of this is Florida attorney John DeGirolamo, whose website gallery gives a glimpse into his personal and professional values, and community interactions. Attorneys that provide these kinds of resources can help you make more informed decisions before you even set foot into their office, saving both of you a lot of time in the long run.   

2.   Don’t Act Without Consulting

Once you’ve established your new relationship with your divorce attorney, it’s vital to understand that they are the expert in helping you to navigate not only the legislative hurdles you face, but also which of your activities are beneficial or detrimental to the outcome.

One of the most common mistakes people make during a divorce is making big decisions about your post-marital arrangements without checking with their lawyer what long term effects this can have. You can best help your attorney, and their ability to get you a fair outcome, by taking the time to talk to them before making decisions, even if they might seem minor at the time.   

3.   Avoid Social Media

This might seem like a fairly innocuous, as social media is an important part of our cultural landscape, and a key way in which many of us communicate with friends and family. However, its use can make things more problematic for your divorce, and give your attorney additional challenges to address on your behalf.


  • Posting disparaging remarks about your spouse — this can paint you as unreasonable and even aggressive.
  • Posting photographs of yourself at parties, large purchases you make, your vacation, or with a potential new partner.
  • Posts which directly or indirectly assign blame for the breakdown of your relationship.

It may be wise to avoid social media entirely until the finalization of your divorce. If you must continue using it for business purposes, it’s better to utilize a social media management tool so that you can plan out all your posts in advance, schedule them, and have minimal interaction with your accounts.    

4.   Be Flexible

Every divorce is different, and your unique circumstances will require a tailored approach. Your attorney will usually discuss this with you in your first consultations, and talk you through the best way to navigate your circumstances, but you can do your part by being as flexible as possible.

Talk to your attorney about your general availability, and be open to solutions such as remote consultations when in-person meetings are impractical. Be well prepared for remote consultations, too in much the same way you would for an online business meeting; make accounts on relevant meeting software, ensure your microphone is functional, and your connection is stable.

This also extends to your attitude toward your spouse and their legal team. Your attorney will guide you through this, but by being reasonably flexible you are giving your lawyer the opportunity to present you as a mature collaborator in the divorce process, rather than someone who is bitter and uncooperative.


Don’t just hire an attorney, but seek to collaborate with them. By being open to doing the right research, adopting sensible behavior, and understanding the expertise of your counsel, you set yourself up for the best possible outcome. 

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