Legal Guide

Is Divorce Always the Solution?

It can be easy to blame your spouse or your relationship, as a whole, when you feel unhappy in your life. But before contemplating divorce, it is important to fully examine whether going through this permanent legal process is the right choice. In fact, divorce is not a quick fix for the problems within yourself. It is also easy to have overly high expectations for a marriage or spouse.

You should always think through your decision to get a divorce before taking the legal steps in that direction. Below are some clear issues that make divorce the right choice for many people, according to the divorce lawyers of

Your spouse is an addict.

Addiction is a difficult disease to treat and even more difficult to overcome. If your partner is addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling, spending or sex, you have to consider your own needs when contemplating divorce. Being married to someone with an addiction means accepting the possibility of legal and financial problems, as a result. You also put yourself in the position of being emotionally abused. Children in these households also suffer immensely, often believing the parent's behavior is their fault.

You suffer abuse in the marriage.

There is no excuse for physical or verbal abuse. If you are suffering either from your spouse, this cycle of violence will likely only repeat itself. Of course, physical abuse puts your life at risk. Even though you are not physically hurt through verbal abuse, this type of harm is extremely detrimental, too. Your self-esteem, mental health and emotional well-being can all suffer under the weight of verbal abuse.

For your safety and that of your children, seek the confidential help of divorce lawyers experienced in cases involving abuse or domestic violence. They will help you put the right plan in place for your safety, protection and well-being.

You and your partner disagree about having children.

Whether to have children is something that all couples should clarify and agree upon before walking down the aisle to marriage. But sometimes people change their minds after already saying, "I do." If you and your spouse disagree on this issue, it will usually remain a major matter of contention and even ongoing heartbreak.

One partner commits adultery without remorse.

Although it is possible to resurrect a marriage after infidelity, remorse is a big factor in that possibility. The six "Rs" of healing the marriage should be present to put the relationship back on solid ground. These six Rs include:

  • Remorse shown by the person who cheated
  • Responsibility taken for the cheating
  • Relinquishing the third party permanently
  • Reassuring the affected partner
  • Reliability re-instilled in the marriage relationship
  • Repairing the marriage through hard work and willingness

You have grown apart.

Growing apart sounds like a small issue. But it is possible for partners to grow so far apart that they cannot reconnect in a meaningful, permanent manner. People change over time and sometimes these changes take you in opposite life directions.

You have tried all possible avenues and they are not working toward resolution.

If you have tried counseling and other steps to return happiness to your marriage and do not find resolution, it is possible you are better off talking to divorce lawyers. It is still important, however, to keep working on yourself and face the issues that led to divorce. Otherwise, you face the strong likelihood of repeating the same problems again.

Divorce is not always a negative decision. For most people, it represents major life change. But some change can be for the better, such as toward greater self-confidence and self-awareness. You may find yourself happier outside of the marriage, too. You should just never expect these benefits to come easily or quickly. Most people need to take time to work on themselves after divorce, to reap the full benefits of the decision.

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